Nerd Mentality

Daisy

Wallowing around in your own filth. Yeah, sounds great.

That's exactly how I feel about taking a bath. Which is also why I hate taking baths, because when I get out I still feel as filthy as when I got in and have the irresistable compulsion to still take a shower afterwards.

Dawson

I remember when I was about 16 I wheeled the TV and VCR into the bathroom and had a bath while watching Titanic. When it got to the part with Rose's tits, I decided to masturbate, but because the scene is so softcore it took about 45 minutes to bring myself to completion. It was really frustrating and my wrist was sore afterwards so it's not a very happy memory.

Kinopio

I like baths, how it makes bubbles when I fart in the tub and all. Will you take a bath with me, Ilona? Maybe your mommy would not mind joining us too? Surely I wouldn't want her to feel lonely while you and I are scrubbing each other's body .

Ilona's threads are hilarious. I hope she keeps up with posting her huge stories.

Ilona Staten

There is only one thought on my mind after a long day of toiling away at my daily obligations and that is simply to cleanse myself so that I may once again be clean and smell of sweet fragrances. As it happens, when I am pressed for time, I tend to favor showers as they are unquestionably the most efficient means of sanitizing ones nude form. Conversely, when I am free from any particular time constraint, I absolutely love to pamper myself and go the extra mile to achieve total satisfaction via a nice and warm bath as was the case tonight, a night I would characterize as a night of pure and unadulterated ecstasy. Certainly, as an upstanding girl, seldom do I let go of my inhibitions, yet when I do, I like to go all the way in my search of gratification.

Upon arriving at my residence this afternoon, I was feeling a bit tired and was ready to just take my socks off and retire to my chamber for a much-needed respite, yet being the conscientious person that I am, I realized that my mommy would be saddened if there was not a satisfying meal waiting for her upon her return, thus despite my genuine feeling of weariness, I built up the strength to make a pot of chicken cacciatore and some steamed rice to complement it. Personally, I was not in the mood to eat at this particular point in time as I had had quite a fulfilling lunch with my friend Amber midday at a local café, so after I finished preparing dinner, I decided to venture into the den to watch some cartoons.

It turns out that while I was watching cartoons on my leather recliner, I had fallen sound asleep in no time at all, and I slept in peaceful tranquility until well past 8pm. I awoke to the sounds of Liberace, a sure sign of my mother's presence. I gently asked her how dinner was to which she replied, "absolutely lovely my dear." Indeed, my mommy is really too generous. Anyhow, after kissing her, I made my way to my chamber. Ah yes, my charming bedroom with its simple décor that never fails to bring a smile to my face. From the Picasso repro to the Michael Jackson posters, I love it all in its entirety. And if there's one highlight my room would definitely be naked without it would be the aquarium, where my little cutie named Chloe resides. I promptly fed her while she was frantically swimming around in her aquarium, and though I know that it is impossible, it almost seemed as if Chloe way trying to play with me! Oh how I would love to turn into a goldfish for day so I could play with my sweet little Chloe and swim around playfully in her pristine aquarium.

At any rate, it was now around 9pm, and in light of the fact that I had already attended to all of my duties, I saw no harm in bathing early. Consequently, I gathered my silk robe and sandals and headed for the bathroom. "Tonight shall be something special," I thought to myself, hence I decided that I would forgo my usual shower in favor of something much more pleasurable—a nice soothing bath. After filling the tub with suitably hot water and adding a droplet or two of bubble bath, I lit some candles and set my favorite slow jam compilation CD to play with tracks from such artists as Barry White, Keith Sweat, and R. Kelly to set the proper mood. Stripping myself entirely, I slowly eased myself into the bath tub. The feeling was ineffably good, and as I began to scrub my nudeness with my pink mesh sponge, that feeling increased tenfold. From my bosom, I ever so slowly worked my way down my naked body, making sure to leave not a single inch of my body untouched. As I worked the sponge over my nude form, I began to fantasize about flying through the sky with my imaginary friends, in search of a long lost kingdom in the sky where we would be treated like royalty. I also thought about having breakfast with Barrack Obama for some strange reason. At any rate, when at long last I had reached my little toes, I realized that this magnificent bathing experience was, regrettably, drawing to a close. I finished off my cleansing process by washing and conditioning my hair with extreme care. And I would be lying if I said I did not felt at total peace with myself as I stepped out of the tub. Indeed, while one would think that the simple act of taking a bath would not be extraordinarily different from showering, it most certainly is. The entire experience is less like an exercise in hygiene and more like an awakening, almost mystical in character.

Lastly, after cleansing my face with a healthy application of Neutrogena cream cleanser, and fulfilling my dental hygiene routine, I proceeded to the master bedroom to kiss my mother goodnight. From what I could tell, my mommy was watching a pornographic film of some sort, but I did not bother to ask as I felt that that would be inappropriate. I kissed her softly and finally went back to my chamber where I proceeded to type this short account on my laptop after being unable to sleep due to my earlier nap which served to throw off my internal clock. Yet what is a little lost sleep? Without question, today was a glorious day for me, made all the more special by the fact that I chose to take a long bath instead of a quick shower. I should really do this more often, yet I fear that the novelty would soon wear off.

I'll end this by asking all of you to share your own bath experiences. Henceforth, consider this thread a bath appreciation thread, yet I must humbly ask that you keep your stories clean, no pun intended.

I hope all of you have a pleasant day.

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unquestionably the most efficient means of sanitizing ones nude form.

Who does this sound like?

FunkMasterGeneral

sounds like you jerked off in the bath as well

I think "she" finally discovered water pressure.

Mahatma Ghandi

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.

Brawl- 2320-5856-7241

Stripping myself entirely, I slowly eased myself into the bath tub. The feeling was ineffably good, and as I began to scrub my nudeness with my pink mesh sponge, that feeling increased tenfold. From my bosom, I ever so slowly worked my way down my naked body, making sure to leave not a single inch of my body untouched. As I worked the sponge over my nude form, I began to fantasize about flying through the sky with my imaginary friends, in search of a long lost kingdom in the sky where we would be treated like royalty. I also thought about having breakfast with Barrack Obama that sexy forumer known as Firecrest for some strange reason.

Now, now, that's not strange at all. I think it's actually pretty cool when people think about me in that sort of way.

Btw, HOTTEST. POST. EVER.

Except in the case that Ilona is a shemale/dude...then

HOTTEST. POST. EVER.
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FunkMasterGeneral

sounds like you jerked off in the bath as well

I'm afraid you are mistaken FunkMasterGeneral. Firstly, I am not a male so I could not possibly perform the sexual act you speak of, and secondly, I would never masturbate by my own volition. In fact, I would not masturbate unless I was held at gunpoint and ordered to masturbate by an evil gunman.

Daisy

Wallowing around in your own filth. Yeah, sounds great.

I fully appreciate your concern Daisy, and it is definitely a genuine concern, yet I sincerely feel that taking baths is one of life's simple pleasures—a pleasure that should be experienced by all and sundry, so it would be a shame indeed if anyone were to miss out on the blissful feeling that comes with a bath. Perhaps a preliminary shower would aid in putting any such worries to rest.

Dawson

I remember when I was about 16 I wheeled the TV and VCR into the bathroom and had a bath while watching Titanic. When it got to the part with Rose's tits, I decided to masturbate, but because the scene is so softcore it took about 45 minutes to bring myself to completion. It was really frustrating and my wrist was sore afterwards so it's not a very happy memory.

Thanks for sharing your highly original experience with us Dawson. Your honesty is certainly appreciated.

kinopio

I like baths, how it makes bubbles when I fart in the tub and all. Will you take a bath with me, Ilona? Maybe your mommy would not mind joining us too? Surely I wouldn't want her to feel lonely while you and I are scrubbing each other's body .

I would have to get to know you better kinopio before I would let you bathe with me. In fact, I don't think I would bathe with anyone besides my bosom friends. Imaginary friends are okay too I guess. Additionally, my mommy has her own bathroom so I seldom engage in my cleansing routine in her company.

Spawn

Ilona's threads are hilarious. I hope she keeps up with posting her huge stories.

There's nothing quite like a bit of mirth every now and then to lift ones spirits. I'm glad I could inspire it in you Spawn.

kinopio

Yes, it turns out Ilona Staten is not a 43 old bearded black man after all.

How droll! Kinopio, your wit is truly matchless.

Formless

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I really don't know what you mean but I thank you for your contribution nonetheless.

ChaosAngel999

Do people still think this is Neo? Mods, you guys need to run an IP check, THIS is the joke account.

Joke account? Why ChaosAngel999, I am surprised that you would suggest such a thing. Please rest assured that I am completely sincere in everything I say and do. I could never bring myself to mislead a group of people I have such a tremendous amount of respect for. The N-Philes community has given me nothing but respect and love thus far, hence I will never fail in reciprocating that respect and love for it is the least that I can do for all of you. And while I have only just recently become a member of this grand message board, I find that I am already starting to think of all of you as my special internet friends.

Anbesol

Who does this sound like?

I always value a person who possesses a healthy amount of skepticism, yet allow me to put your suspicions to rest Anbesol—I am not Neo Atlantis.

crawlingmonk

I feel akward taking baths personally. I mean there is something weird about just sitting down and cleaning youself, for me anyways. I guess I could never really enjoy it since I'm tall and my legs are pretty much the only thing that gets submerged in water though. :/
Showers just feel alot better. Your getting spayed with fresh clean water every second and are not just sitting in dirty water. It seems like common sense really.
If you want to relax in hot steamy water, hot tubs are where it's at.

It is a pity that you are not able to properly enjoy baths due to your stature. Anyhow, I tend to agree with the point you make about hot tubs. They are certainly very relaxing though unfortunately I do not have one at my disposal.

Firecrest_Neoflames

Now, now, that's not strange at all. I think it's actually pretty cool when people think about me in that sort of way.

Btw, HOTTEST. POST. EVER.

Except in the case that Ilona is a shemale/dude...then

HOTTEST. POST. EVER.

I see what you did there Firecrest. Anyway, as I have told others before, I am a female through and through. I have no reason to lie about my sex.

ZGMF-X20A

If I am stuck on a homework problem and if it is aroudn 7 pm. I will take a bath and the answer comes to me.

I've had several eureka moments while bathing as well. Personally, I think the tranquility afforded by a soothing bath can indeed give rise to a greater apprehension of vexing puzzles.

Lich_King87

Wow, all of this threads make me feel dirty.

I do apologize if I contributed to your state of discomfort in any way. If so, that was certainly not my intention.
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Firstly, I am not a male so I could not possibly perform the sexual act you speak of,

So...Neo Atlantis... you're a chick! Okay...you can still jerk off tho.
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Firecrest_Neoflames

No, and I don't mean masturbation. I'm talking about women having better hiding areas than men, which could potentially make them better spies.

That reminds me off the House episode in which the woman was poisoning her husband with gold and hiding it in her snizz
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Brawl code: 4511-0151-6840

From what I could tell, my mommy was watching a pornographic film of some sort, but I did not bother to ask as I felt that that would be inappropriate.

Umm. Right. Did we IP this faker yet to see who they really were?
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The N-Philes community has given me nothing but respect and love

I somewhat doubt that.

Bleeper2.0

I somewhat doubt that.

Do not doubt it for it is the truth. The kind and generous members of the N-Philes message board have been very nice to me hitherto.

Anbesol

Where abouts are you from Ilona? California? Have you put up a picture yet?

I'll tell you this much Anbesol: I am not a resident of California although I am a United States citizen. In regards to uploading a picture of myself, no, I have not done so yet and I won't do so until I am in search of a husband. Since I am very young, I don't think I will need to post a picture of myself any time soon.

burning_phoneix

Ilona you remind me of a guy named Tedouis Zanurkundo who also had a penchant for long overly detailed posts.

Everybody hated him and he was banned.(not on this forum BTW)

I hope no one hates me for issuing my heartfelt opinions and relating my experiences to all of you. I would be most disenchanted if that were the case.

P.S. Thanks Dark Aerow and Deneb for sharing your bath experiences.
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