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Curtis

Someone's Ugly Daughter

Posts: 19,378

Join Date: Apr 2003

Location: In a new home.

Needed: Tips to Get Kicked Out of an Apartment

Hey Guys,

This is going to be long, but I could use the input.

So here's the deal, I hate where I live. I signed a 1 year lease over a year ago, and in December my super visited me, asking to sign another lease or I get kicked out, this was December 28th by the way. So rather then have to frantically find a place to live, I signed it and paid that month. Legally, if a tenant and a leaser want to stop a lease, they can given 2 months notice.

Anyways, a friend of mine bought a house. Its a sweet house, with a complete downstairs apartment (full kitchen, bath, 2 bedroom, etc...). He offered the downstairs to me for exactly what I am paying now, plus he will cover my hydro, and we can share internet bills, satellite bills, and phone bills (besides long distance of course). It's a super sweet deal. I look at the place, and I love it. He will also give my insane cat free reign on the house, which I think she will like, cause she must be going stir-crazy in my tiny apartment (well, not tiny, but small enough, plus people being around to keep her company will be nice).

So, I go back to my place super excited. I stop by my supers place and let her know my place, and tell her that I would like to be out in a month, but that I don't mind staying for 2 months if the owners have a problem with that. She lets me know that I signed a lease for the year (I was never given an option), and that they more then likely won't let me out. I inform her that I would really love to be out in 2 months, and whatever we can do to make that smooth would be great. I got the call from her last night.

Before I get into what happened, let me recount a few things. The first night I lived here, I had a few friends over. We had some drinks, played some video games, and played Air Hockey (I have an air hockey table). My neighbors came over at 11 to inform me that I was being loud. Fair enough, we headed to the bar. Throughout the following months, I would get constant complaints that my music is too loud, I am too loud during the times of 11PM to 7AM, and that I am loud in the morning. Before I head to work I like to watch SportsCenter to see the hockey highlights from the night before, apparently I'm doing that loudly. Also when I moved in in January, there was quite a bit of snow on the roof. The first sign of melting, I ended up with buckets in my living room, my roof leaked... bad. I called right away, and after a week of buckets, I was informed that they couldnt do anything until the snow melted. Fair enough. May rolls around, I remind her, roofer comes and "fixes it", but does nothing in my living room (my ceiling looks like ****, with it coming down on top of me now). Whatever, its not leaking anymore, so I can deal. Then, in the fall, it starts raining, and you better believe that my roof starts leaking again. I call again, a few weeks go by and he comes back and "fixes it again". Snow starts falling again, and my roof is still leaking, I call, she says she will call him, and I don't get another word. I still have buckets in my living room, but its not leaking as the snow is nice and frozen over it, but you better believe once the snow starts melting again (it was -3 today, so here it comes) it will just be a matter of time before the snow starts pouring again. Next thing, I apparently own a dog. You're not aloud to have dogs in my apartment, but apparently my tiny cat has been mistaken for a K9 on multiple occasions as I get lots of complaints from neighbors that she is really loud, and it must be a dog. *sigh*

Add to this the fact that I can't play guitar, as my neighbors complain its too loud, and forget about acoustic guitars and bongos, that got kiboshed (at 3 in the afternoon mind you) as well. Then, people constantly park in my parking spot (I know, Its stupid to complain about, but it all adds up), and force me to park away from the building in illegal spots.

So back to her call, she informs me that the owner said that because I have a lease I have to stay for a the full term. **** THAT! Theres more to it, but basically they are having trouble renting the building and won't let anyone leave if they can force people to stay. Going to the law, I could request a cancellation based on the **** I have had to go through for the roof, but I shouldnt have to. I want to be nice about it, I just want to give 2 months and get out. Hell, I have a cousin moving to town for a few months (co-op placement) that I would gladly inform them of and get him in here, as its nice and close to work.

Basically, I want out. And if they won't let me out, I want them to kick me out. I don't need the reference, as my buddy doesn't give a ****, and after I'm done there, I will be buying a house. So I don't care how much of a jerk I come across as, but I just have a few rules:

1- I won't do anything illegal (i.e. drugs, kill someone, etc...)
2- I don't want it to cost me too much* money (i.e. destroying property, stuff they can sue me for/charge me for. *: I don't mind legal fee's, such as hiring a lawyer).

One location where leakage exists.

Buckets adorning my floor.

My terrorist "dog".

Any ideas?
___________________

Anbesol

Banned

Posts: 1,588

Join Date: Oct 2006

Location: Kansas USA

borrow someone elses dog, pretend its yours i.e. keep it over for a little bit, accidentally get "caught" with it by your landlord. you'll get evicted, if thats what youre shooting for... evictions look like **** on your credit history though, but your friend is willing to sublet to you, so thats cool.

AxeUnleashed

Banned

Posts: 3,437

Join Date: Oct 2004

Location: Dearborn

Only if you're sure you'll be getting a house after that. I think you should be an ass and go for the cancellation, you need a clean credit report.

If you DO want to get evicted pump up the music (techno is the worst for that) invite a few dogs off the streets into your apartment and hang things out of your window.
___________________

The Arabs are the best because they crossed the dessert.
Ya, the Jews got lost

Dark Aerow

What is seen

Posts: 4,004

Join Date: Jun 2003

Location: What is not seen

tell them your leaving and not paying anymore because of the **** you have gone through.

Or, you could start playing your guitar at 3 in the morning till they kick you out.
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XxHumanCowxX

BOOMSHAKALAKA

Posts: 6,045

Join Date: Jun 2002

Location: :noitacoL

drill holes in all the walls

Xavius

Sabor de Soledad

Posts: 32,290

Join Date: Jul 2002

Location: NM

Dogsit for three very loud dogs and be sure they also love to party. If possible, hockey-loving dogs who enjoy drinking beer and staying up all night. Then walk over to your neighbor's apartment and barf right on her door. Then, in the barf, make a heart symbol with yours and your neighbor's initials in it. Pass out in their bushes.
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I was young and confused and your mom didn't want me around no more. Now pass me dem damn collard greens!

HNB

Dead Finks Don't Talk

Posts: 9,997

Join Date: May 2002

Location: Hamsterdam

stick it in his ass

Curtis

Someone's Ugly Daughter

Posts: 19,378

Join Date: Apr 2003

Location: In a new home.

How does getting evicted effect my credit rating?

(Im really asking, like what parts does it effect, can it effect what I will be allowed to get for mortgage rates and such?)
___________________

Anbesol

Banned

Posts: 1,588

Join Date: Oct 2006

Location: Kansas USA

committing suicide is a great way to get yourself out of leases, i hear.

getting evicted basically makes it so that you wont be able to lease or finance another car or house for a very long time until you build it up very well....

DeathDaddy

Captain

Posts: 9,033

Join Date: Aug 2002

Location: City of Bridges

Hire a prostitute.

If your landlord finds out that someone is turning tricks on their property, they'll want to get rid of you so fast, you'll be in your friend's house the next morning. In fact, they might kick you out at a speed so great that you'll find yourself in your friend's house before he ever bought it!

In which case you're screwed; proceed with caution.

In the alternative, I'd suggest the following course of action...

[list=1]

Request your two month's notice, cite legal precedent from which you're allowed to.

Threaten to report them to the Better Business Bureau; nobody wants bad publicity and it could give room to wiggle in dealing.

Consult a lawyer on your options, hire one if it gets to the point of necessity.[/list]

^-- this is the boring but safe (legal) method of approach... you can have a lot more fun if you're not averse to soiling your credit history.
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TendoGamer
I've lost count of how many shirts you've ruined over the past six years with that tic of yours.

AxeUnleashed

Banned

Posts: 3,437

Join Date: Oct 2004

Location: Dearborn

The Human Cow
drill holes in all the walls

Then he would just get charged for the wall.

Unless he drilled at 3 in the morning.
___________________

The Arabs are the best because they crossed the dessert.
Ya, the Jews got lost

Curtis

Someone's Ugly Daughter

Posts: 19,378

Join Date: Apr 2003

Location: In a new home.

I'm giving written notice now, and will more then likely go the legal route, as I think I DO have a leg to stand on with the problems with the leaking roof.

But until then? Music all hours of the night I suppose. Thanks DD, great insight.
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Beaver

Vagina

Posts: 3,885

Join Date: Jun 2002

Location: Canada

Play guitar?
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Xavius

Sabor de Soledad

Posts: 32,290

Join Date: Jul 2002

Location: NM

What about my insight!
___________________

I was young and confused and your mom didn't want me around no more. Now pass me dem damn collard greens!

Curtis

Someone's Ugly Daughter

Posts: 19,378

Join Date: Apr 2003

Location: In a new home.

I missed that somehow... but I tried that a few times already and it never did anything...

Frown

___________________

Advance

Like the Groundhog Phil.

Posts: 28,937

Join Date: May 2002

Location: Washington, D.C.

Conspire with a prostitute to say that she turns tricks on behalf of the landowner. Blackmail the landowner to let you out.

What about sub-leasing?
___________________
I can kill you whenever I damn well please. But not today.

djsilvertiger

So Very Clever

Posts: 2,318

Join Date: Jun 2004

Location: Southern California

Cry in her face. She'll be ashamed to have you as a tenant.

God Blessa!
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gunshow21

The Panopticon

Posts: 1,642

Join Date: Sep 2005

Location: Jewland, Mass. (Brandeis)

Park in someone else's parking lot, have the TV on every second on ESPN News at the highest volume and bring your friends over every night and get drunk off yer ass.

But seriously make sure they know you will do this before you do it. Tell them nicely that you are desperate to get out of her, and if you can't, you will do whatever you please. There should be no problem for you get kicked out. And if you aren't, it sounds like you would still be living like you want to in the first place (music loud, partying, playing guitar, watching TV etc.), outside of the buckets scattered on your floor.
___________________
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You have to earn it

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picked up the wrong sandwich to chew.
He took a big bite
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Keazu

Gallant and Giddy

Posts: 18,247

Join Date: Jun 2003

Tell her if she doesn't let you leave, you will do something drastic. The proceed to make sputtering noises and fall out of a nearby window.

If this doesn't work, I'd consider employing an ill-mannered turtle.
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Mahatma Ghandi
I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.

Brawl- 2320-5856-7241

Crunchy

to jue

Posts: 7,246

Join Date: Oct 2005

Location: the "Employee of the Month" parking spot

poop in the hallway

Curtis

Someone's Ugly Daughter

Posts: 19,378

Join Date: Apr 2003

Location: In a new home.

All good suggestions. You guys are great, if not awesome for a laugh.

Thanks guys, I was uber pissed off earlier.
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Pandas_UNITE

Positive Panda

Posts: 18,424

Join Date: Oct 2002

Location: I live in your heart ;)

i LOVE that picture.

but anyways, get a piss poor lawyer in a terrible suit to look it over, and get you out of that apartment today.
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Daisy

Hello!

Posts: 31,788

Join Date: Jan 2003

Location: Nowhere

Talk to the landlords directly, forget the super.

Pandas_UNITE

Positive Panda

Posts: 18,424

Join Date: Oct 2002

Location: I live in your heart ;)

pfff wat do you know. supers are like the landlords henchmen.

i say let a ghost roam your apartment and then hav it kill the super, and then feed it children.

EDIT: American children

EDIT 2: Children from Gainesville FL.
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Batist

God

Posts: 36,070

Join Date: Jan 2002

Location: Sainte Maxime

don't pay the rent.
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The Dragons are Gone!

Pandas_UNITE

Positive Panda

Posts: 18,424

Join Date: Oct 2002

Location: I live in your heart ;)

am i the only one with REAL ideas?
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Battousai

Damn 56k

Posts: 3,215

Join Date: Dec 2003

The land lord cannot keep you there because you signd a piece of paper, gimme a little wile and I'll try to find somthing more tangible on the details.
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RPG-n. A computer programing language designed for business reporting that generates specific programs from the users specifications.(Report Program Generator)The American Heritage Dictionary

Pandas_UNITE

Positive Panda

Posts: 18,424

Join Date: Oct 2002

Location: I live in your heart ;)

well you liv in canada darth so i guess your laws are quite different.

heres wat you do, pay the troll under the bridge to let you pass to see the witch who lives in the small cabin with two chimneys. Then persuade her to give you the magical guitar of doom. this guitar is obviously no ordinary guitar, but it is blessed by all the gods who hav ever touched a string, this include hendrix, buddy holly, as well as jesus and jesus's cousin SLASH!!!!

you must rock! or you will never roll!

and then, only then, will you be allowed out of your magically curs'ed lease.
___________________

Imp

legs of a newborn pony

Posts: 7,978

Join Date: Jun 2005

As a Canadian resident I can only suggest that you scan the surrounding area for yeti's. You'll need to pay them in Toyota Camry shaped icicles matching the specifications of 0.5 in. by .201 cm, so make sure you have a few on hand. I've been given the impression you guys also call them "Canadian Dollars". Once you have a truckload of yeti's you'll need to drive down to US/Mexican border. There you'll find a character named "Juan Fernando", he'll exchange you two and a half illegal Mexican immigrants for every Yeti. The Yetis might complain about the heat on the way down, so bring a box of Capri Sun. Now that we have said Mexican immigrants you need only to release them in your city/town/village. Depending on the size of said area of residence in about 2 years you'll have a populous increase that will make an apartment like yours quite appealing, meaning your landlords won't have to resort to such drastic measures just to keep a tenant.
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Battousai

Damn 56k

Posts: 3,215

Join Date: Dec 2003

I am opperating on the assumption that the location info in your profile is accurate so....

sadly this is really all I found. Everything else seems to exclude Pembrook.

in short, Go directly to the landlord as has alredy ben said. the super has no say in the matter.
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RPG-n. A computer programing language designed for business reporting that generates specific programs from the users specifications.(Report Program Generator)The American Heritage Dictionary

Spawn

Lurking around...

Posts: 4,232

Join Date: Mar 2002

Location: The Netherlands

DeathDaddy
In the alternative, I'd suggest the following course of action...
[list=1]

Request your two month's notice, cite legal precedent from which you're allowed to.
Threaten to report them to the Better Business Bureau; nobody wants bad publicity and it could give room to wiggle in dealing.
Consult a lawyer on your options, hire one if it gets to the point of necessity.

[/list]I thought to write the same thing, but then decided to read through all the responses first. Good thing I did. DD said exactly what I would have suggested. It's the safest and probably the best way out.

How come you're convinced you've got a two-month notice? In case it's in the contract, you stand quite strong I think...

Firecrest_Neoflames

It's all like ":D".

Posts: 5,828

Join Date: Jun 2004

Location: 123 Fake Street

I can sympathize with you, Curtis. My mom and I have been renting houses/apartments for a majority of my life and unfortunately, every landlord/lady we've ever had turned out to be cheap, lazy bitches. Except that it's always been the opposite for us, we're always getting evicted for one reason or another.
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Stalk me: My Awesome Collection | Myspace | PSN/XBL GT: Firecrest

trigger

Bench Phallus. Yeah.

Posts: 2,158

Join Date: Nov 2004

Location: Portland, OR

If you're mexican you'll never get evicted. I know. I've lived in several apartments, and I always have mexican neighbors that park in my spot, play loud music untill 3 in the morning, have pets, sell drugs, or any other number of things that should get them kicked out.

I black friend of mine lived below me for two weeks, and he got evicted because the neighbor across the hall said that he stole his news paper. (The neighbor across the hall offered me meth, and when I reported him, the manager said that I was being rediculous.)

I don't get it.

Pandas_UNITE

Positive Panda

Posts: 18,424

Join Date: Oct 2002

Location: I live in your heart ;)

black people steal...wats so rediculous about that?

and meth is a mythical drug. be serious.
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Joester

Needle Mouse

Posts: 14,987

Join Date: Jun 2002

Location: Kansas City, MO

Just do all the stuff people complain about, only louder.

Keep doing it.

Red Yoshi

What about us?

Posts: 2,853

Join Date: Jun 2003

Location: England, UK

What Crunchy said: poop in the hallway. Also, go au natural when you walk around the building. You said nothing illegal...so forget that. Start cross dressing. Pretend you're part of a cult.

PlayMore

Banned

Posts: 587

Join Date: Jan 2007

Location: Merseyside, England

Set fire to it?
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429567349600 - Mario Kart

Kuriboo

Super

Posts: 12,190

Join Date: Jul 2004

Location: A Galaxy far far away....

Just tell the landlord your sleeping with his wife. Either he will kill you or kick you out.

50% chance sounds good to me.

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Mario's Bitch

bcharlie

Nerd

Posts: 24

Join Date: Mar 2005

with hold rent for the roof because it does not meet standard living situations. And do your normal activities (the loud things that irratate neighbors) and expect your landlord to come talk to you eventually. Also if the roof is real horrible or if it is moldy and he doesnt fix it by law you can break a contract. Of course he may take you to court so take pics first to prove that it was unsuitable to live in and you should have not problem.

pbdestiny

FlyGuy

Posts: 471

Join Date: Dec 2006

Location: Ontario, Canada

Well, legally anything that could be considered offensive or mean could turn into a lawsuit...harassment, in the case of sexing his wife up...sexual harassment.

Loud music = Disturbing the peace...
Pooping In hallways = Great idea as long as you dont get caught

If you get ballsy you can always do horrible things and pranks to upset the whole apartment, leave enough of your presence or find ways to get the general idea that you could be responsible, but dont get caught. The tension will build up to the point were landlord will want to kick you out but will have no reason too, so you pretend like it doesnt bother you for the next 3 - 4 weeks. If your not able to cause enough havoc than you need more extreme things...or annoying that cant equal a lawsuit.

OR....

You can just brake into landlords place and do either of the 2 things suggested:

(A) Brake into landlords, search entire place for the contract and steal it.

(B) Brake into landlords, smother the bitch with a pillow, and walk out. It may not get you out of the apartment, but you'll feel better that you caused your landlord pain for being so cheap. Plus new landlord may let you out of contract and be nice.

(B 1.5)You could get your friend to apply for the job after you kill the bitch, and he could destroy your contract and than he can quick the job.

OR...

You could leave messages on landlords answering machine/phone messages, that are very vulgar, and if you know their email sign them up for a bunch of gay porn / kiddy porn and products that will get the mspammed to hell. Just overly cause problems, and do it in a way that may suggest its you, again..similar to first suggestion.

If your really good, you can slice the brake line of your landlords vehicle and give them a free trip to a spa/game that has them on a ****ty windy road thats right steep.

Or...

Make an icicle knife thats right solid, make sure your totally dressed up in like a ninja suite and come into the building and stab the bitch in her sleep. Leave the knife somewhere warm to melt, you have no murder weapon, you leave most likely no traces of hair, saliva, other DNA (dont rape when you die, even if you want to), and you cant be identified even if you witnessed, just runaway and show up at a random funeral the next day to chuck the clothes into someones coffin pretending you were their long lost friend from a party one night. (I loved you ben... here's your favorite ninja suit buddy, everyone will be too nice to say anything as you sob like a baby). Even better if there is no funeral but a cremation you can burn the clothes.

I need help...i'm sorry
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Battousai

Damn 56k

Posts: 3,215

Join Date: Dec 2003

pbdestiny
If you get ballsy you can always do horrible things and pranks to upset the whole apartment, leave enough of your presence or find ways to get the general idea that you could be responsible, but dont get caught. The tension will build up to the point were landlord will want to kick you out but will have no reason too, so you pretend like it doesnt bother you for the next 3 - 4 weeks. If your not able to cause enough havoc than you need more extreme things...or annoying that cant equal a lawsuit.

You mean somthing like TPing the entire apartment complex with Uber Cheap sand paper-esk No-name brand TP. That could be fun and anoying.
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RPG-n. A computer programing language designed for business reporting that generates specific programs from the users specifications.(Report Program Generator)The American Heritage Dictionary

AxeUnleashed

Banned

Posts: 3,437

Join Date: Oct 2004

Location: Dearborn

I GOT IT!

Wear a KKK hood around the building, you'll be out of the building in an hour.
___________________

The Arabs are the best because they crossed the dessert.
Ya, the Jews got lost

Pandas_UNITE

Positive Panda

Posts: 18,424

Join Date: Oct 2002

Location: I live in your heart ;)

its canada, KKK doesn't even exist there.
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matz8916

RANGERS!

Posts: 4,376

Join Date: Aug 2005

Location: Montreal,Canada

At this french highschool, that have mostly african american students, on halloween some white kids dressed up as kkk members and ran through the school. Very stupid and Disrespectful. Later though they got their asses handed to them on a very shiny platter.