Nerd Mentality

The Nintendophile's Lament

Posted February 13th 2007 by J Edison Thomas.

It's been 85 days since the Wii launched in America. I've had a Wii for every day of that timespan of over two months, and I can honestly say that I play the system every single day. Out of Nintendo's fairly large launch library, I've experienced nine games with mixed feelings overall: Wii Sports, Excite Truck, Twilight Princess, Trauma Center, Super Monkey Ball, Rampage, Dragonball Z, Elebits, and Wario Ware.

I've used the internet channel, and I guess if I were the kind of person who stole information from the internet by simply viewing it, as opposed to contributing information to it like what you're reading here, I might at one point repeat that action. News and Forecast channels made similar non-impressions on me, and for my uses they serve me best by making my Wii channels screen look less empty. I almost used the Photo Channel to e-mail myself images of a PS3 I was eBaying, but for a format problem with my camera's memory stick. The Mii channel was brimming with excited activity long into my second week of owning a Wii, which I can only assume is about par given how little activity the messaging and parade portion of the channel sees these days.

As if my lack of interest in Wii's multifaceted applications weren't stale enough, the game I dominate the system's time with is Dragonball Z Budokai Tenkaichi 2, a PlayStation 2 port that I don't even bother to play with the wonder-wand Wii Remote. There is almost nothing about Wii, nothing that separates it from other game consoles, that has so far made me say "Wow!"

So what has me coming back? What's kept me excited about a system that currently has only one game on its horizon that I'm terribly interested in (Smash Bros Brawl, another fighter that allegedly won't use motion controls)? The Virtual Console.

The VC is Nintendo's ace in the hole for all those early adopters that were well-enough disposed to video games that a novelty like Wii Sports isn't enough to carry them on until the A-list games start rolling in. It's one of the earliest-known aspects of the "Revolution" console, certainly well-known long enough for us all to become disaffected and cynical about the idea of paying Nintendo for Super Mario Bros. over again, in an abstract format that can't ever be re-sold. And yet, as of now you can find that Super Mario Bros. -- in its what, 5th rendition? -- is once again owned by me to play over and over again instead of the DS cashcow New Super Mario Bros..

I paid for this game again. A game I already own twice over. A game I've beaten more times than I can count. Playing Super Mario Bros. itself at this point is living half in the present and half in the watery world of memory, with each action and reaction preceded by the recognition of thousands of previous attempts at the same obstacle. And yet booting up a Wii, and finding a group of different games from different generations that I can play at the click of a button with a real controller on a real Nintendo, an antique like Super Mario Bros. is almost irresistable.

So yes, I'm a Nintendophile. Sure, it just means someone who enjoys Nintendo games, but in recent years it's come to imply so much more. It's impossible to actually be just a Nintendo fan anymore. Living the life of Nintendo fandom means literally (metaphorically) letting Nintendo take a shit in your mouth, making a big fuss about it, and still thanking them at the end of the day for being so courteous as to give you that experience.

I know it's wrong. Half of the VC library is available easily, sometimes cheaper, in hard, real, cartridge form, many others available handheld. Most of the games I really want are games I already own; some are stored in the same TV stand as the Wii itself. And although if asked point-blank about the whole thing I'd deliver some scathing remark about the sheer sliminess about this apparently charitable act of delivering to fans effortless emulations of incredibly popular titles, my paychecks are already spent in my mind as I add up the sum of Wii Points required to gather the increasingly large number of VC games I need -- not want, but need -- to own.

The worst part is that I know that if I didn't cave, Nintendo wouldn't take advantage of me like this. If I didn't buy Mario Kart DS three times in order to playing on its horrible online structure, steps might be taken to fix the Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection into something closer to what works with online gaming, past this stage where Nintendo is content to remain merely dipping its toe in the waters. After all, why bother diving in when this is enough? Is it possible anyone at Nintendo regrets launching without DVD-playback when nearly three months in the Wii refuses to remain on store shelves? I revel in Wii's success over the PS3, even though I know that success is built on, and is likely to be expanded on, gimmicky appeals to the kind of people who haven't been interested in video games until they allowed them to bowl using real bowling arm motions.

I'm not saying I'm going to stop supporting Nintendo's boneheaded moves or borderline-voodoo strategies to suck every last dime from chumps like me with the same franchises, or even that I should. If I had the slightest inkling that a lack of response to Virtual Console would mean Nintendo packaging in free downloads with new Wii titles, the thought might cross my mind, but Nintendo seems entirely comfortable with the idea of letting issues drop once they realize they're unpopular, or unprofitable. And even then I doubt I'd have the will to resist.

I know better. I do. I can't rightly blame Nintendo for selling games five times over if I'm still eager to buy them. And now and again, Nintendo still finds a way to give me a reason to believe they're the kindly gents in this otherwise cold and ruthless console war, the "good guys" who really believe in the hokey dream of uniting the world under a "fun for everyone" crusade. But at the end of the day, I have to admit to myself: I would forgive Nintendo if they treated me like Sony. I would take them back in a heartbeat as soon as they dished out new gameplay footage of Mario Galaxy or Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I'd cave, I'd crumble, I'd invite them over and tell them how handsome Metroid Prime III looks and let it all be forgotten. And that's a lot to live down.

 

I'm interested in how this is all affecting the kind of people who read this website, folk who might read this blog. I'd like to see what people like about the Wii, people who have no use for Forecast Channels but still love the damn thing. I'll run a poll soon, and try to figure out where Nintendo did right by its fanbase, and I'd be interested in hearing any mail on the subject, any subject covered in this long and meandering post. Fire one off and watch us put your opinions on the front page after probably making fun of them or hiding behind off-color jokes.

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