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Most Wanted - June

Posted June 2nd 2012 by Anthony DiPalma.

Game journalists often squeal like a thousand pigs getting dismembered in a slaughterhouse in the event that someone mentions the month of June. And why the hell not? We're a couple of days in already and OH YEAH E3 IS LIKE, MONDAY. Not a bad way to start the month, eh? Well providing "Mr. Caffeine" stays the hell away from the press conferences, everything should be hunky-dory. But what of the rest of the month? The Electronics Entertainment Expo only lasts for a few days, so how else are you going to pleasure your carnal passions for gaming? Luckily, we're here to help. (We're not going to touch you, though. Not after that last incident...)

Okay, so the freak cannibalistic attacks spreading across America are real and the harrowing story behind the poor man who lost 80% of his face in an unprovoked attack is horrifying... But in the name of all the victims of zombified wrath, developer Grasshopper will be supplying gamers with the tools they need to train for the impending zombie apocalypse. Plus, you'll get to play as the adorable cheerleader/merciless killer Juliet Starling and commit genocide on undead monsters.

Thousands of years from now, archaeologists will unearth the rarest of the rare - A Playstation Vita game worth playing! Gravity Rush tells the story of a young girl who must protect her future by turning to her past. Intuitive gameplay allows the player to shift environments and manipulate gravity to defeat the enemies of the city. Gravity Rush is absolutely worth checking out this month.

Maybe you caught 'em all? (SPOILER ALERT: You didn't.) Maybe you're interested in reliving part of your childhood and fusing it with tales of brutal slaughter at the hands of imperialistic dictators who just-so-happen to also control Pokemon? (SPOILER ALERT: You are very interested.) Pokemon Conquest adds a new spin on the universe of our favorite pocket-sized monsters by allowing players to lead Pokemon skirmishes all along the kingdom in an effort to unite the separate states into one nation with one army and one goal. Seriously, it's like Game of Thrones meets Pokemon and you're probably waiting in line right now.

Namco actually delayed their gravity-manipulating-car-throwing game Inversion from a few months ago. As a refresher, Inversion tells two tales from the eyes of different characters as an unknown alien force overpowers the city and sends the human race into a desperate war. However, the attacks have also opened up opportunities for humans to use guns that can control space/time and send cars flying into the air. Yeah. Cars. Come on.

When I was in elementary school, my teacher asked the class what we wanted to be when we all grew up. Most kids said stupid shit like 'doctor' or 'lawyer' like their stupid moms and dads. I was not stupid. I knew I wanted to grow up to be a GIANT ROBOT. Now, Capcom is making this childhood dream a reality with Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor. The developers who gave us Dark Souls are now allowing players to control giant mechs from inside the cockpit with full Kinect functionality. You can work together with your crew and crush other robots into dust! Now Mrs. Fields and all the kids who laughed at me will tremble in fear as I use my Kinect to morph into a massive tank.

Considering just about every military shooter has a six hour campaign comprised of incoherent screaming and poorly done "cinematic moments," it seems like a great idea to not make another shitty Michael Bay wannabe of a game. (I'm looking at you, Call of Duty and Battlefield. Stop ruining the videogame industry.) Luckily, Spec-Ops: The Line was written in conjunction with actual soldiers who have seen actual combat and know what actually goes on during intense firefights. Players won't be taking charge of a steroid abusing junkie with a crew cut. No, they'll be in control of a regular human who *shocker* gets seriously wounded when he takes bullets to the cranium. All in third-person!

So we've got a share of everything this month. We've got a zombie killing, gravity shifting, massive robot stomping, feudal Japanese Pokemon takeover for the next 30 or so days. What were you looking forward to this month? Did you hope to try any of these titles, or did you want to wait for E3 to pass before destroying your wallet with pre-orders? Let us know!

Posted in: Features, Gaming

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User Comments

Knight of Cydonia

You failed to include Quantum Conundrum, a game from the creator of Portal, and that may end up besting each and every other game on this list.

Sunday, June 3rd 2012


Quantum Conundrum has an interesting premise, I'm definitely interested to see how it turns out. I'm excited I really liked $30 in no time and unfortunately I will have to wait until then before I purchase it. I'm also curious about Pokemon Conquest, I'll look for gameplay videos because I don't even know the genre of game. You have the Amazing SpiderMan picture, but no snazzy info box. This may be a really fun game. I really liked the first open world Spiderman game during the GC/PS2 days and if this improves upon that one with added elements from Arkham series, count me in! Lastly, I will buy Pikmin 2 the Wiimake this month (june 10th). Somehow I missed this game at its original release so I'm glad to have another opportunity to play it. It'll amp me up for Pikmin 3 assuming its announced at e3.

Sunday, June 3rd 2012


^ Parts of my post were deleted, I don't why but that's why it no longer makes sense.

Sunday, June 3rd 2012

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