Nerd Mentality

End Boss Month: Day 8 (Super Mario World, Bowser)

Posted August 6th 2005 by J Edison Thomas.

Clown Copter! That's all there is to say about this guy. Maybe Bowser was suffering from Robotnik envy or maybe he figured a mechanical edge would finally let him trounce Mario, who knows. That's not for me to say. All I know was that I got a major insanity vibe from Bowser in Super Mario World, as if the Koopa King had started hanging out with the wrong crowd at Villian High, and he was smoking Smilex with the Joker behind the gym during third period.

Now that's what disappoints me. Bowser, you had it all together. The Clown Copter was invincible! It stayed airborne on one tiny propeller despite how many times you smashed the damn thing into the ground trying to squish Mario with it, and it somehow carried several times it's own weight (and size, go figure) in gigantic steel balls. All you had to do was be patient and wait for Mario to fall for your predictable flight patterns and you'd have finally crushed the mustachioed one. But no. You had to go nuts and toss Mecha-Koopas out like they were candy. Not Goombas, who can't be defeated and then thrown as missiles. Mecha-Koopas. All Mario had to do was stun them with a jump to the head and then chuck them at your stupid assclown flying machine. God.

Bowser went and proved just why it's possible for a short, fat, middle-aged man to become the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom. Because he's the posterboy of choke artists. *sigh* such promise...

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